Cindy’s Blog

a single beam

illuminating

both danger and safety

in one swoop

 

the secret

is open eyes…

keeping your eyes on the

beam as it sweeps

around and around

 

you look

you lift your eyes

what a fire

what a light

may it be lit by God above

may His Spirit be

what shines the light

 

may we see the people

who are alongside us

with their own agenda’s

and not God’s

may the Light House beam

illuminate them to us

as it shines on the jagged rocks

in warning to those sailing

the waters

 

and may the Spirit’s beam

illuminate the safe waters

not only where to beware

but where to stay to sail

to travel, to pass through

unscathed

 

one beam

both danger and safety

God, show us what is wrong

but please also show us what is right

our prayer today is one

of foresight and wisdom

… a Light House Prayer

 “I want little children to come to Me, so never interfere with them when they want to come, for heaven’s kingdom realm is composed of beloved ones like these! …”

I wonder what letting the little children come unto Jesus means in your life?

You have an 11-year-old. She is invited to watch age-restricted movies with you because it makes her feel like part of the family, but to allow her to engage in church? No, that’s way over her head….let the little children come unto Me…

We had a seven year old tragically taken too soon, and I know her mom taught her the Way, but….there are other seven year-olds, eight, nine, ten…even eleven year-olds that play while their parents have church….and I wonder…already at the age of accountability….if they were to die today…would they go see Jesus…or have we done them a disservice by allowing them free-time instead of teaching them the Source of real freedom?

Let the little children come unto Me…

My heart is burdened for the souls of children at the age of accountability, whose parents boast of all the horror movies they have been brave enough to sit through, yet they are sent to play when it is church time….the child is mature enough when at home for things way beyond their maturity…but Church…no – waaaay over their heads….let the little children come unto Me…

If we really believed that teachers of the Word will be held to a higher standard at judgment day….and we really believe that there is no such thing as a junior Holy Spirit, we would invite the children to learn, to seek and to find Jesus at Church just as much as you would expect an adult prodigal to.

What if we are missing it?
What if we are wasting time and resources graced to us by eliminating an age group because parents insist on a break from their little and not-so-little ones?

Let the little children come unto Me…

Can we stop wasting precious time…we say Jesus is coming soon…does that not include time running out for your pre-teen?

We are missing it!! We are missing it big time!! Wake up, wake up o sleepers! Church is not a place for adult’s R&R and escapism!! Is this thing you call Christianity real in your life?

Let the little children come unto Me…

 

Today I got to thinking ….is God really late? I mean, I know He’s late in human terms, but lateness is not an actual concept in the spiritual dimension. Time is not something that exists in realms beyond our physical senses. So therefore ‘late’ is a concept that doesn’t actually exist.

Now, move along to the Old Testament:  Moses is missing, and surprise, surprise – the Israelites start to do what we do. They are lacking comfort and direction – so they look for coping mechanisms. And looking for that outside of God or His will leads to sin. So they sin. They go back to what they know. We do it too.

But pause at the bottom of the mountain. Was God late? No. Was Moses missing? No. But the Israelites got stuck in the loop I too often find myself in – needing time, needing comfort, needing direction. Imagine if they had trusted God and waited even six months for Moses to come back – they had reason to trust God, didn’t they? (don’t we?) Imagine if their own need to feel familiar comfort as they had in their past depraved practices had not won over waiting for God.

And now ask yourself – is God really late? Can you stick the waiting out a little longer? Can you push through for one more day, one more week, one more month because you know (not you feel) that God is coming through with your answer? Will you trust God more than those Israelites?

Sitting in the dark waiting for God is not easy. You may feel disorientated because the light has been off for so long. But close your eyes and speak to the Holy Spirit in your spirit instead of squinting into the dark trying to make sense of the shadows. The light is on inside you even if its dark outside of you. And remember – God’s not late 😉

This week’s theme has been ‘Testimony’. And it has opened my eyes, not to the lack of testimonies but the lack of changed lives – including my own – the kind of change that sticks for the long-run.

A while back we had a certain move of the spirit, and I asked God if, because I shy away from supernatural drama, I am missing out on what He has for me. And the answer was: to see the fruit in the lives of those who say they were touched. Real Touch = Changed Lives.

Maybe I didn’t miss out this time – but I still pray that I don’t get so cynical that I miss the real touch God has for me, and be open to it when it comes.

And I got to thinking about this different kind of Gospel that is on show in our churches these days. It’s a gospel that is missing the fundamental fullness that God promises He has for us.

This is a different kind  of gospel. Its us, the people that shout with all our might at Jericho’s walls when we haven’t spent six days in silence. Its those of us who swear that we would fight Goliath but we haven’t stood up for God’s name when Goliath was speaking out of turn. Its those of us who publicly break perfume on Jesus’ feet when the perfume has cost us nothing – it had no personal cost and cost no sacrifice to obtain it. It’s us, the healed lepers that never had leprosy.  Its us, the soldiers that say the armour prayer by rote but we never actually wear the real armour – its just a word-prayer that gets checked off our list everyday. Its our meetings and services that hold no spiritual value in the long run. It’s those of us that flaunt our ministries but behind the scenes we have not even enough sense of responsibility for the most basic needs of others. Its those of us who flock to hyped-up worship nights, but are sorely missing at the prayer group. Its those of us who have lied about being true followers of Christ because we refuse to live circumcised lives. Its the Body that exists to serve the five-fold ministry, and not where the five-fold serves the Church. It’s a different kind of gospel – and one I would no longer like a part in. It’s a gospel that does not really believe that we will be held accountable in heaven.

Chasing after the fake and flaunting the fake hold no promise for us. What a waste of time – and time is too precious. The real Gospel is too precious to be wasting our lives on anything else.

The story of Lazarus fascinates me. So many emotions flowing through 44 verses of scripture! I love how Jesus was something different to each of the characters. He wasn’t a ‘cookie-cutter’ Friend and Saviour.

But its this Martha chick that really gets my thumbs up ? [I think I see myself in her …logical speaker ? ]
Jesus has let her down yet she still stands strong because she believes in the resurrection. I wonder how many times in the last three days they had watched the road for any sign of Jesus. I wonder at what point they had given up on Him arriving in time. I wonder how they felt as they had to lay their brother in the tomb…. knowing that if Jesus was here he would not have died. Yet no anger comes from her as she meets Jesus. She states the fact that he wouldn’t have died…

And she went to call Mary – who was in the house grieving. And she was the one who warned Jesus that Lazarus was stinking already. You’ve got to love a person who states it as it is.

(And in another story if Martha had not so bluntly moaned to Jesus about her sister Mary…she was have missed out on a beautiful life lesson about true worship?)

I want to be a Martha. Someone who met Jesus as He arrived…didn’t let the disappointment define their relationship.

I want to be someone who will whisper in another’s ears – the Master is here for YOU. Go to Him.

And I want to be someone who speaks truth as it is – no sugar coating.

I am sure that after her brother came back to life it would have been good old Martha that saw to him getting cleaned and fed. Yet in this story of sadness, disillusionment, death and decay…even a point where Jesus is said to be angry….it is her honesty that grabs me…and the way Jesus allows room for her honesty even though He plans to correct her afterwards ?

You see Jesus takes us as we are because He knows who we truly are ❤

The vision is waning. Dear stranger in the mirror: Your vision is divided and because of that you have slowly lost the passion you need for your #1 calling. You are mesmerized by fools gold.  Fools gold and bright lights. You have traded time for extra money. And time is something you will not get back.

You have sought new sons to entertain you, but you had sons all along. Sons cannot grow into men when the Father is absent. Those sons only learn how to keep house – because that is all they were taught. And they grow up overlooked – a feeling that will never  leave them. Illegitimate  sons – back-door sons – they will have entitlement issues because they were not your first sons.

It is an unbalanced life where values no longer exist. It is no longer a place where the family comes first, where the table is open and where honesty prevails.

This is in the mirror for in the open all still seems normal and intact. And it is sad. Not sad in a way that makes me want to get up and fight. But sad in a way that I need to walk away. I need to find a new path and a new kingdom and castle – in a land where armour-bearer is not a foreign Utopian concept, but an accepted calling and lifestyle. Where I can be a son with vision, destiny and – what is most importantly needed – a father’s covering.

What a sad thing that I have given up on the hard parts God asked me to do. I have however found the strength to lay what He asked me down – my books and memories are packed and the path is beckoning. It is singing a song I knew a long long time ago – a time before I was a son. From a time where my heart beat for itself. And I do not leave as a man, I leave as a boy who knows how to keep house.

Maybe that is what my new season is: Value. Inheritance. Partnership. Community. Winter may be painful but spring, though still far, will come.

Isaiah 62:4-5; Isaiah 54:1-5; Isaiah 56:4-5; 1 Timothy 5:22

 

Useful or good to be thrown out?
Think about it. A staple holding a book is very useful. But a staple lying on the ground is good for nothing – absolutely nothing!
I want to be useful to God. If He calls me a staple then it is my choice to be a staple that lives holding a book together or be good for nothing. It is my choice. But God, what if the book I’m holding together is not the book I think I belong in? Well, I need to trust that God chose the right book for me to be in. I just have to trust that.
Staples are not glamorous. You don’t buy gold-plated staples because the staples are not the focus, the book is.
It fits right into my MO – the sidekick and not the superhero – the armour-bearer and not the royal.
The choice is mine. Nothing changes the fact of my purpose – I am made for a particular reason but the choice is mine as to my usefulness not my name. A staple is a staple no matter where you see it, you know it is a staple whether its in a drawer, in a paper stack  or in your rubbish bin – the surrounding environment doesn’t change its name. It is a staple. FACT. But its usefulness changes depending on where it is. The choice is mine. Hold this book together or be good for nothing.      Choice. Staple. Purpose.

Excuse me while I ask some hard questions. Questions that haunt my soul in the last days of a old year. Humour me this time for I do not stay in this space asking these questions all the time. But it does make me who I am.
Humour me.
As the year ends and I find myself sitting in the exact place I did six years ago – where I begged God for community and now today I beg Him to take away the pain that community has wrought.
As I beg with questions as I see loved ones dying on holiday never to return home while other loved ones die of their own accord. I see babies die in wombs and then babies born unwelcomed. And I mourn my own grave at a time when we celebrate both Mary and Elizabeth. What about the Rachels? What about the Rachels indeed…
I see a tuft of grass growing through our concrete step. How we applaud for the tenacity to stand strong and grow in the hard places. But as I thought about that piece of grass what struck me was the waste. Oh tenacious one that never gives up….what if you were growing in the wrong place all along? What if you were tenacious for nothing? And five years have caused more scars than beauty? What then little one? What then?

Samuel. The very child prayed and yearned for. The one given back to God. And God chose him before he was born. God chose him before Hannah ever begged for a son. She cried out longings given to her by God. And the young boy Samuel heard the audible voice of God. In a temple where it had been forgotten. God opened his ears. It was not copying and mimicking a mentor. It was new – brand new….so new that the young boy assumed it could only be Eli calling him. And do you think that hearing God elevates you in people’s eyes? Do you think you would be respected because you heard God and relayed the message? No my friend, if you are ever called to be a prophet you will not be loved by the majority because of it. But like Samuel – God would have chosen you a long time ago. It would be your choice to be like Samuel or to be like Eli. Will you stop God’s voice with sin, or will you marvel that you can hear His voice….and then still relay the hard messages? The truth messages that sting and warn?
And if you choose to stop  God’s voice like Eli…..how will you react to having a young Samuel in your life….and will you listen to His warnings that he relays?
Eli missed it, yet God gave him a chance. And at the same time it was Samuel’s first test. Would he put God’s truth ahead of fear, ahead of not wanting to hurt someone he loved?
The temple at that time was growing spiritual mould. And mould is considered unholy. I think we have spiritual mould growing in our homes and in our churches today. We paint and bleach and do a splendid job of covering it – just like Eli did. But mould is no joke…..and the stones used to build houses in those days, if they had mould growing on them….had to be thrown out….the stones  surrounding it had to be scraped clean….and new stones placed in the place of the discarded ones. Mould spreads. Mould also needs darkness and dampness to grow. It should be a picture to us to be alert. The more you block the Son out…the more chance for mould to grow….the more chance for mould to spread to parts that were not affected by it at first. A fresh spiritual wind and Sonshine is needed….as well as turfing out and replacing that which is not holy.
Here is your checklist:
Are you a Samuel? Will you speak what you have heard?
Are you an Eli? Will you heed the warnings?
Is there mould in your house? Are you going to be pro-active or are you going to repaint?
There is always a choice. And the choice is yours.

There are lies we learn as we grow up that become the foundation of our beliefs and actions. Having good and sound sounding-boards is so important while growing up. But what happens when you are a child that doesn’t talk or open up to people?
Yes, God will help us work through our issues, graciously again and again and again until we get it right. But how much better when we have steady adults in our lives, God-fearing adults who can help shape our futures? What if we could be that to a teen or a pre-teen now….be what we wished we had growing up?

I tend to be very works-based. Partly from learning that model growing up and partly from my personality-based-tendency to people-please to gain my worth in this world.

In my pre-teen years I would religiously pray for every family member up to cousins. Until one fateful day when the death of a youngster coincided with a morning I had not prayed. And in an instant, anger and distance grew against a god that I felt was not worth it if it meant I had to help him get the job done. A skewed perception and way off the mark….but I was ten and no one would ever know that thoughts like that even existed in my brain.

Yet it has been part of my foundation for a long time. Still now at 38 I will automatically steer away from naming extended family by name on a daily basis for fear of taking responsibility for them. Our minds are amazing things – but they are also frightful things. That is why satan uses it. We do not realize how much and how often he does, and scary enough – we do not want to put in the work needed to eradicate flitting thoughts nevermind foundational ones. Yet the more we work on ourselves now, the better chance of us being available and ready to guide and mentor someone in the next generation. Usually our healing isn’t only for us. It is seeds to make bread for another.

And I hate learning about new issues I have. I hate it when the Holy Spirit illuminates something in my life. Because it feels like I am never going to get on the path God chose for me. Sometimes I feel like I have messed my life so much that I have messed up His calling on my life. That is until I sit down and ask myself: Do you want to help yourself heal, or do you want a forgiving huge incomparable Holy-of-Holy God who knows you inside and out, and has your name on His palm, help you to heal.

The answer is easy. But the walk in that direction is not.

Isaiah 55 v 6 – 11
6-7 Seek God while He’s here to be found, pray to Him while He’s close at hand. Let the wicked abandon their way of life and the evil their way of thinking. Let them come back to God, who is merciful, come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness.

8-11 “I don’t think the way you think. The way you work isn’t the way I work.” God’s Decree. “For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think. Just as rain and snow descend from the skies and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth, Doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry, So will the words that come out of My mouth not come back empty-handed. They’ll do the work I sent them to do, they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.